An attitude of thankfulness

How many times a week do you say, “sorry”?

Ladies  (and some men) we are guilty of over apologizing.

“Sorry, I’ve never done this before.”

“Sorry that I didn’t have time to help you.”

“Sorry, I forgot you already told me that.”

The list goes on and on. At home, at work, even in the grocery store – we over apologize.

I also think we under thank.

What would happen if you replaced half of the apologies in your life with showing gratitude?

Thank someone for helping you understand, thank them for their time, thank them for letting you by in the aisle at the store- all instead of apologizing.

Recently, I adopted a new goal, though I haven’t decided if it is actually a goal or just the radiating power of the fierce and strong willed little girl I’m growing in my belly. I decided I am not going through the motions anymore – I am taking charge of my emotions and what I need help with and what I do not need or want help with. With this, a state of vulnerability and openness comes – and it’s meant a lot of apologizing on my part. Apologizing for needing help, not having the answer, or not having the time.

My new goal – to make an effort to replace my “sorry” with “thank you” at least once a day. Apologies have their place, but we can’t, and should not, apologize for everything.

In the month of November, thank your coworker for explaining something for you instead of apologizing for needing help. Thank your friend for planning an event you didn’t have time for instead of apologizing for being busy. Thank the man that holds the door for you and your kid who walks slower than grass grows. You don’t need to be sorry all the time. This “thank you” attitude promotes a spirit of thankfulness – and the people around you will be encouraged by this positivity.

“I’ve been replacing my I’m sorry”s with “thank you”s…it’s not only shifted the way I think and feel about myself, but also improved my relationships with others who now get to receive my gratitude instead of my negativity.” – Vijara


A year’s difference

imageI remember the night of September 19, 2015 like it was yesterday. My heart was shattered, torn, stomped on, and left alone in a hotel room hours from where I lived. I had put all I had into something that was giving me nothing. That was the worst pain I have ever felt. I remember crying to my best friend. I remember crying to my mom. I remember the constant pain I felt for the week that followed, the kind of pain that shoots up your left arm.

Today, a year later, I’m finishing a road trip across the country with the most incredible man. A man that loves me and shows me he loves me. A man that is perfect for me; someone that is literally everything I have spent my life praying and looking for – in all the wrong places. I would pray that God would change the different “men” I dated into my dream man. Little did I know, God had everything I wanted, needed, and a little bit extra, wrapped up in a man that was halfway across the world at the time. Jesus has transformed my life in so many ways this year, and Zachary is one of the biggest and most unexpected ways.

But, kiddos, it’s not all about finding Prince Charming – no matter how sweet it may be. I started a business, finished a college degree, found passions, dropped negativity, and grew as a strong and independent woman that don’t need no man. I learned to embrace intelligence. I learned to embrace the fact that I am an introvert instead of being ashamed and forcing myself to hide it. That was one of the best things I did for my relationships and my mental health.

I went places alone that I never would have gone alone before. I learned how to get my car fixed in the shop without getting taken advantage of. I worked with doctors. I delivered a baby. (seriously) I learned how to stand up for myself. I moved furniture alone. I painted rooms alone. I traveled by myself. And I met an amazing man that loves that I can hold my own when I need to.

God can use a year to change a lot.